Final Destination...

Well, I guess I must agree that I was trying to run away from the fact that I had completed my CET and it was kinda expected that I must be writing something. But, I don't know why, I just thought I should wait till the results are out. I know I have to write since the day of CET and all the experience till 14th June and later, and believe me folks, now that I am in mood to write, this one is gonna be a long one. (P.S. I owe this one to my juniors, who made me realize that I am not just using up cyber space by writing for nothing, no one out there, when I knew that only Gauri Tai reads this, which I wonder now if she really does these days)
(Well, I too remember Googling up names like Keyur Desai, Akruti Gunderia, Nikhil Rao, Uday Tekchandani and Parasmita Bhattacharjee and many more, tracking them on their facebook lives and wondering about their legends.)
The month of April after the HSC boards was the best part. Yes we did miss all the teaching but then, studying what you feel you are weak at and having your own revision schedules was the best part. I remember us coming from the prelims, in a taxi even though the exam center - Saraswati Vidya Mandir - was very near to our house, just so that we could check the papers and know our marks. I remember carrying the change of Rs. 16, the minimum fair, in mine and Vivek's pockets. And then all the phone calls - To Ghangurde sir, to tell him marks and expect some HMMM (his signature sound), Nadkarni sir, to argue regarding every doubtfull question, Varun, Mihir and Kasturi to know their marks and texting all the people I knew to know where we stood. Then filing up all the papers and entering our marks in the report cards we made for ourselves. Sigh, I still miss all the fun and stress... Kind of addicted to it, it seems. :) :)
Let me start from THE DAY.
12th May 2011, the day when our destinies were written. I woke up after just 6 hours sleep, as the previous night I was too happy and excited to sleep, about the day to come. Still I felt like having beaten Sleeping Beauty in the competition, though the BEAUTY factor isn't included here :P.
Yes, I was worried that I had no worries at all and I remember dancing to Mast Kalandar on my iPod while Vivek was still nibbling away Biomedical Technologies, on 11th eve. I remember Vivek getting frustrated while I sang out Kabhi Kabhi Aditi aloud and my parents wondering if all the stress had driven me nuts. Yes, it was indeed a wonderful night counting last few hours till freedom. I could imagine how India might have felt at 12 O'clock midnight on 14th August 1947, only that I had no Chacha Nehru for the long speech. I remember having a breakfast of not-so-sweet Sheera on Thursday next morning because Ghangurde sir once told us that a girl who did so scored 50 in Physics. And they say we are the SCIENCE students, hahaha. And then putting on the Tanpura and meditating by humming the swaras of silent Hansdhwani. Then getting ready, praying to God (which I doubt if I even believe in) and kissing my parents as I sat in the cool cab being driven by a woman driver. Never did I breathe so deep and never did I feel so calm and relaxed. I already had decided that I will be surely following Haresh Sir's philosphy about positivity and using Rhonda Byrne's The Secret. Jai Hind was my centre and Prabhu sir's phone call was all I needed to boost my morale even more, which did occur amazingly as we were getting down from the car. I kept telling myself that CET is easy and dumb and that I shouldn't much complicate things. I kept repeating this advice that all our professors had given us since our first class test. But fate it seems, had something of its own to play.
The bell rang and we entered the class. I tried to meditate and keep my heart beat as slow as I could so that no adrenaline would be secreted so as to make me panicky. Papers were distributed and a surge of thoughts ran through my mind. HECK! Shit, this is the last PC paper I will be ever writing, unless I decide to repeat. All those amazing moments with our beloved Ghangurde and Nadkarni sir, our idiotically funny doubts and SO MANY TESTS for THIS single one! It was a great feeling. I opened up the paper and the first question itself was something I didn't know much about. HECK, I kept my mind calm though, thinking that its just my set here that has this tough one before. Rest to be following will surely be easy. But alas, DMER this time thought of some Halloween surprise for us. Every question that followed was something which we didn't expect from CET. Not that I couldn't get those, but just that the feeling that this devil was really different than what we expected for 2 years, made me worried. I cannot remember the no. of times I blessed my parents for admitting me with GG, as every following question was his internal with all the same options!! :O Physics was done, and it wasn't as bad as I firstly thought it would be, but I had taken up 4 mins more than what I should have and my Chem devil now had larger horns. Chem was really easy, but the time factor and the thought that I only could read every question once if I wanted to complete the paper really got me dizzy and I did what I so swore to not be doing. I lost my cool. I panicked. And what followed was havoc. I remember reading 6 questions in line with nothing going in head and me just circling them so as to hurry for the next one. Time was over and my 2 questions remained. The idiotic invigilator didn't know that he was supposed to be signing the papers and came to fulfill his duty as I was scurrying around to mark the answers. Finally, as the bell rang, I kept holding tightly on to my answer sheet, following GG's tips to not to give it away unless you mark everything. But then I wondered how suddenly the invigilator could be so smart by taking away my question paper instead. Sigh, I didn't know what option to mark. This never happened in our mock tests as we were supposed to take away the question papers at home. I saw around, people moaning, screaming and some hugging their deaths quietly. I kept wondering which group I should be joining. I could see my parents disappointed faces, GG and Nadu asking me how I could not get THAT particular question and Kasturi asking me how I could miss such easy ones. I wished I could just disappear. Somehow, I could remember Aai telling me that if PC went bad, it meant I had the added responsibility of doing my best in Bio. So, I hurried to the washroom to wash my face where already few people were crying, but I decided that I won't be giving a shit about what's happening around and what happened before. I knew that if it was bad for me, it surely must have been bad for everybody. I just prayed to God that the Bio paper happens to be just out of board book and occupied my seat. But sigh, no prayers were to be accepted that day.
Bell rang, I got my Bio paper and I felt all the joy one could get by topping a prelim, after reading first 2 pages. Every question had been from board book. But then, again, the happiness wasn't meant to be lasting for long. They started asking some questions which I knew even Balaji didn't have the answers for. But somehow, I didn't feel the excruciating pain anymore again. Maybe I had become too numb to feel it, maybe I had gobbled up some extra confidence with water gulps and dry fruits, during the break, but somehow I remained strong during the entire Bio paper. Completed it on time and just wondered if I should run back down to my parents or just sit there. Quietly. I randomly packed my stuff as everybody was running around in pain and anguish. There were huge heaves and silent sobs, long sighs and sarcastic smiles. I wondered what mask I should have been wearing. I just climbed down the stairs and calmly explained my parents the situation who thought I would come down screaming in joy and all in smiles as after my final Geometry paper of SSC. And then... The worst part... DISCUSSIONS!
Firstly, I called up Ghangurde sir, to tell him that unlike what he promised us the entire year, the Bio paper was not exclusively from board book. By then he already knew of the PC case. Then calling up Vivek, who was already crying, Varun, who gave me a myocardial infarction by saying that PC was just lengthy and that he expected 97 in it, Kasturi, who wondered if she would have to repeat and then Mihir, who's phone was switched off.
Then it was a confusion so as to deciding which classes we should be going to, to draft the paper again. As we discussed how screwed we were in Bio and how we were raped in Physics I knew KEM was now just a dream. We knew we had to go to GG, because that's where we were confused the most. Again Dominoes pizzas lured us even at such time. Haha! Where we met Minit Shah, who then again made us feel that we should be jumping from the building by explaining how better KEM was, as compared to Sion. Even Pizza seemed to taste shit. With every question answered wrong, counting back the falling score was really a dagger in heart. But we somehow could finish the paper and ran to Prabhu sir's office where the Bio paper was already ready and printed. With NO CONTROVERSY this year and all answers being line pickups, the hope of getting some free marks of controversies were even shattered. And then as he told everybody's scores, I added up my P & B totals, just praying to God that I might not have made more than 4 mistakes in Chem. And then impatiently we requested Kolambikar sir to allow us to check the paper he had drafted. 183, 183!!!! That was the score I predicted! And sigh, it was a feeling I really can't explain in words. With no energy left in body to travel in a train from Parla to Dadar, we somehow got ourselves into a rickshaw and immediately started calling up friends from various places. Kolhapur, Ratnagiri, Latur, Solapur, Sangli and Kudal. Somehow the sadistic pleasure of everybody having done badly and the news of the so-called-toppers of respective places coming back home crying, calmed our nerves.
Reaching home, was like attending a funeral. With my and Vivek's parents putting up their awkward smiles trying to convince us that medical college didn't make much difference and that everybody around the state faced the same situations. Predicting the cut offs for KEM and Mumbai, I just prayed it were around 183. Plus, there was a huge confusion while marking the answers, so I just hoped that all the practice of 2 years to mark correctly paid off. Somehow I didn't enjoy my dinner in Gypsy that day. As I licked my chocolate ice cream I wondered if my 197 in last prelim was just a joke...