Love - The Strongest Emotion

All of a sudden I'm having a blast of philosophy in my head while I should be preparing for my Physics test tomorrow. I thought, I should write it down somewhere, and what better place than my blog? Yesterday I read my previous post. I myself am so happy with it and get motivated by it that I've decided to read it whenever I feel down to remind how strong I can be and think.
To start with, because of my exams and all the pressure, Aai has come over to stay with me. She's gone for three days for some work but is about to return soon. Her presence, is so energizing and so stress free that I can work to my max levels. Her absence however is horrendous and loneliness is very demotivating and depressing. When she's here, she not only controls my uncontrolled waste of time (like this. Blogging on phone), but also does my not so productive chores. Like checking the question papers I solve and making charts to stick on walls. She is a person who, I feel, has stamina tending to infinity (talking in Maths lingo after its final exam is over. No more Maths again in my academic life :( ).
Yes, she can work till 4 in the morning writing all the accounts stuff and still manage to wake up at 7 to get Jui ready for her day. She can work entire day in kitchen and then sit down to take down notes for me from Science subjects she hasn't even studied. She can manage everything my disorganised Baba does and yet pull off a finger licking Pao Bhaji at night and wait for Baba's dinner till he has finished his late night surgeries. And she does all this so beautifully. I'm not saying she doesn't get tired. She gets frustrated when we don't do our simple jobs like just arranging our cupboard or CLOSING our books. But then we also do that because she does even this with anger on her face and love in her heart.
And now she's not here. Last two years, she has tried her best to manage everything in Kudal perfectly well before time so that she can come here to Mumbai to motivate me and keep a check on me. I've already wasted my half an hour typing this stuff on my phone's net and after writing so much for her I'm sure, if she was here, she would have instead been angrier for wasting my 1800 seconds! (ya that's how she accounts time of study)
After an idiotic sleep of 8 freaking hours yesterday, I still wake up feeling tired and bored to dig into these books and this is when I thought, what gives Aai all this amazing strength and power to be a wonder woman? And the answer is Love...
She love's us, and love's us like anything and that is her nuclear fuel!!! Love is the mightiest emotion, strongest feeling and best frequency to emit in this universe! (I'm talking with respect to my previous post where I wrote about the Law Of Attraction in Universe)
She loves Baba and wants him to be best at what he does. She loves Jui and wants her to score best in all her exams. After my boards, before CET, in the gap between them Aai is going to go to Kudal just to take Jui's last minute revision and for her first rank. And she's going to return (note that one journey from Kudal to Mumbai is of 500km and she travels alone at night in trains) just to check my papers which I'll solve then and give me mental strength. She loves me and wants me to get first rank in state! And for this, she does anything and everything possible. On the other hand, my studies have declined and while I study, I keep thinking why am I not able to study? I keep reading dumb ads in newspaper because I'm irritated to read again the textbook which I've already read thousands of times and I keep cursing myself for having a crush on a girl at the wrong time of my life. I know what's wrong and what's right. But just am not able to follow what's correct. I keep listening to title song of movie Lakshya, see Hrithik undergoing the military training, to get some motivation and read Shiv Khera's You Can Win to see if he can convince me that I can. I want to do this and that but don't find the strength to move my butt! :(
Today as I woke up late, my day began with cursing myself, as usual. But today I did something new...
I DECIDED TO CHANGE WHAT I'M DOING. I heard that song once more with a BELIEF that I know my Lakshya (aim). I read Shiv Khera with an intention to BELIEVE that I CAN WIN. And I called up Aai to suck some energy from her (I really feel like being parasitic on her). And I thought that its LOVE that gives her energy. I have the secret now. Its necessary to LOVE.. No I'm not talking about that girl I mentioned. Its necessary to LOVE anything and everything you do. For me its necessary to love my books, my prof.s, my exams and my career. For me its necessary to LOVE myself and my long cherished dream. For me its necessary to LOVE Dr. Sujay Nigudkar. The Gold Medalist from GS Medical College....????...

THIS is Rocking

CET's nearing day by day... 139 days left for it... HSC exam dates declared... Surely dead in that :P... And so much is happening in life... And since my last post I haven't at all got any time to write anything!!! Firstly Our Bio lectures are over... Last chapter of Chemistry is going on... And Physics portion is traveling at the velocity of light :D... And I AM SO LOVING MY LIFE... Might not be the most interesting life, but surely the most productive... I nowadays go out for a walk in the evening to refresh my mind... There I see many people of my age, enjoying to the fullest... I really envy them sometime... But then I think, are they going to be able to do all this 10 years down the line... Will their life be THIS simple... And then this strengthens my belief that by working harder I am creating an easier, simpler and enjoyable future for myself... In Haresh Sir's notes there's this beautiful quote-

"Future is not something to wait for, future is something to be created... Plan your future in advance as that's where you are gong to spend most of your life..."

The other day Baba told this to me,

"You get what you deserve and you deserve what you get"

Now I don't know how he came up with this, but as I think about it, it is the eternal truth of life... Haresh Sir says, we always work in two domains of life "DOING" and "GETTING"... But we forget the most important domain - "BEING"... We think 'If I do this, I'll get this... If I say this, they'll think this... If... Then..." and we remain entangled in this foolish mumbo jumbo... We forget the part that THIS itself is such a huge thing... Rather a beautiful thing!!! THIS may vary from person to person... For a student THIS might be marks on test, homeworks, assignments, crushes!!! Anything... But THIS, this time of studying, these weekly tests (mid weekly rather as we now have tests on Wednesdays too), these lectures, these homeworks... Once gone are never to come (unless of course you repeat if you didn't do all THIS properly... Hehehe ;) )
Today I had a Chem lecture and Nadkarni Sir said, "So we are now starting the lecture for the last chapter of our syllabus." I don't know why... In that fraction of a second my entire last year came up from my memories... I could remember last year's December, preparing to face new Prof.s with enthusiasm, new books, added workload and all those AMATEUR CET STUDENT emotions!!! I could remember all the first introduction lectures and what all of us said... And all THIS is about to end!!! Now surely many would not agree, but I enjoyed this journey a lot... I am COMPLETELY, COMPLETELY a different person as compared to what I was when I came to Mumbai, rather when I entered twelfth... I've become matured, understanding, street smart, a PLANNER, lot more sincere, devoted, honest and stronger to face crisis situation... Ya in twelfth you might not be on border with guns and grenades, but facing the Sunday test with MCQ homework of 250 questions to be submitted on Monday is nothing lesser... I know THIS doesn't end here... Lot more to come... Many more bullets to be faced, many more bazookas to be dodged but this PAIN!!! Its sweet addicting pain... With never before kind of shivering, chilly winter of Mumbai, its torture to wake up at 5 in the morning and bathing with cold water just so that your brain's back to life... While sipping hot ginger tea, I sometimes wonder - "Is all this really worth? After all, all I want to be is a successful and renowned doctor... How does my college, my CET marks matter anyway?" Well then I understand that even if THEY don't THIS does matter... THIS is a PROCESS (isothermal irreversible expansion and adiabetic.. HEHE :P)
THIS is where we are made... And THAT is the result... I am constantly trapped in the GETTING domain... And that's where I lose... As I'm reading a book called THE SECRET by Rhonde Bryne, I am thinking of world in a different way... It says that we emit a frequency of a thought whenever we think about something... THERE... That thought about which you are thinking RIGHT NOW is going to the universe and law of attraction works in universe... THAT thought will bring more such thoughts to you... It will make up your day, your future because as quantum physicists define, time is relative... RIGHT NOW, another version of YOU already exists in some other time frame... And its the Schrödinger's cat paradox type of event... The probability that an event occurs depends on the time when observer observes the event... (Google it to know more) If we extrapolate this concept we can see imagine that THOUGHTS are nothing but agencies which we send out into the future which pull many threads and make the situation true... My life depends on what I think... I think I can do, achieve, win and conquer... And so does my down fall!!! I keep saying this to me "Today is going to be a great day, today is going to be a great day" and it does turn out to be one!!! Sometimes even if when I don't do homework... And sometimes when I feel very demoralized the day turns out to be a nightmare... I get scolded in spite of doing all the works...

I have now really started believing... "What I can do, depends on what I think I can do"... LITERALLY!!!

Far from the point of all THIS I have taken myself to some new world... I now understand that you don't have to be worried and stressed to be determined and planned... These two are mutually exclusive sets which we often don't consider to be different... Water always APPEARS to be turbulent and gushy on top, but inside its calm and quiet... Same is with our life... We worry with about some different situations and worry is all we do about it... Baba asks me to believe in this, "Arey, main nahin kar sakta, toh aur kaun karega?" (If not me, who can?)... Its easier and simpler to face the situation rather then dying by worrying...
Now I'm not some Dalai Lama or any old banyan tree living for 500 years to say all these great words of wisdom... But whatever I have learned in this infinitesimal period of 17 years, will decide my further path...

Today, as I wonder how I will miss all my Professors, lectures, homeworks, etc. even before everything ends, I feel very sentimental... I really felt like crying when Nadkarni Sir said, "So we are now starting the lecture for the last chapter of our syllabus."
And THIS is where I am.........