The Chronic Case of DOCTORitis

An 18 year old male patient by name Mr. CET STUDENT, presented to LTMGH with chief complaints of an ambition to become a doctor since childhood. He was apparently asymptomatic before the thought, and the presenting complaint was sudden in onset, gradual in progression, with an ever increasing severity since the past 2 years and was stimulating in character, aggravated by seeing  successful doctors, and relieved after chilling out with the non medico friends.

Past History - No similar complaints in the past. He is not a known ratta master and slogger. Ranker since school. However, didn't find medicine equally easy. On general examination, he was conscious, coherent, co operative, well oriented to time, space and person, but is little disturbed.

Personal History - Single (even after several repeated attempts otherwise)

Family History - No reported case of doctoritis present in family.

Higher functions - Normal.
Attitude - Ambitious.
No abnormality was detected on clinical examination. He was admitted, for observation to relieve his complaint, and was subjected to a battery of investigations spanning over a 5 and a half years, involving all the senior members of the college.

At first he was reluctant to get 'treated' (ragging), but gradually was cooperative. He was put under tremendous pressure in the latter part of the first year. Complained of palpitations and nausea the day before the exam. Was not prescribed anything. He ultimately cleared the first year exam. This phenomenon continued till the third year, and a good response was noted as his chief complaint started to show some sort of improvement. All of his engineering friends were well settled. He was aging. He was feeling insecure.

Observation - Somehow, by god's grace, he was able to clear the final MBBS exam.
But, the journey was filled with a tremendous amount of pressure, tension, insecurity. He was tired of the investigations and even questioned himself during the announcement of results. He did not have any previous experience of doing this.

Today he is an intern and is preparing for PG Entrance.
Super added syllabus induced insomnia has recently developed. It was initially mild, but gradually increased to present state.

Today he doubts... He doubts his intellectual capability, his intrinsic curiosity and wonders whether he really needed this. He is even more confused than ever, about his ambition. He wants to achieve and prove it to everybody that he is somebody precious in this world. He wants to exemplify his existence. He realizes that the journey which he faced is just a preview of what lies in the Pandora's Box for his entire life. Digging through mountains of difficulties, he found himself stranded in the land of nowhere. So many roads to choose from, but each more confusing than the other. And now he wants to go back! To that very time when he chose this and change everything, but then is again confused as to what must be changed. The treatment and investigations the college gave were too much for him. Was it worth? Is it worth?

And suddenly he realized one thing... It is this journey which makes you unique. It is this very journey that carves a doctor out of you, that gives you all the stress and mental training required to be licensed to deal with lives. On top of all, it gives you the individuality which is also a by-product of this arduous journey.

He pondered over his condition and realized that this is the way, life here is and hence his complaint grew in terms of severity. He realized that every person who joins medicine and is ambitious to reach the finishing line is a successful person. He realized, there is no UNsuccessful practitioner.  Every doctor represents a success story.
This chap now realized that he was ground mentally and physically. And finally became a doctor, without even realizing.

Conclusion - MBBS teaches you a lot of things. Some very pleasant and some not really. Forget the stress and enjoy the road. The result will be an unforgettable journey...

BECOMING a Medico

You are out of that CET world, you walk the corridors of an INSTITUTION having its own culture, achievements and glories... You are smiled at, by your seniors and you just like to roam around in the college wearing that apron... That feeling, when you are asked about directions to a specific ward no. 24 by a poor confused patient, and in spite of having shrugged your shoulders, you still manage to be happy and elated 'coz someone called you a DOC!! Gosh!! Man, you are in a medical college!!! :)
3 months nearly of being a 'Proud Sionite', and I am back home, Kudal, for my Diwali vacation which is indeed nothing but just a preparatory leave, given that our exams start soon after it ends. But nonetheless, you still manage to feel majestic to even show off the huge bags you carry filled with more books and less clothes. Sigh, just that there was no space for Gray's!! (believe me, its a HUGE HUGE Anatomy book). Imagine, opening that in the train, just giving the seat-mate granny a mild M.I. Hihi :P ... But jokes apart, 3 months, just 3 months and there's SOOOOO much to write about.
1st Aug we kick off the day with Dean's address where they give us a warm welcome to the huge family, followed by a tour of entire college by our seniors. The next day we have Ice Breaking by seniors for all of us to know each other better. Yeah, much needed when you are sharing benches with a small Bihari and a huge Punjabi. Man, you feel weird and over-conscious that all these people you are sharing benches with are actually the toppers from their respective places and you are just afraid that you are gonna get your ass kicked surely in the competition. You keep judging everybody carefully, wondering what could be your comfort zone of people. That's really a difficult part, but it passes soon and you start enjoying with everyone as if you all have been chaddi buddies! And the strong anti-ragging council of Lokmanya Tilak Municipal Medical College (L.T.M.M.C) makes it sure that there's not even an R heard from it. But given the fact that all our seniors are just uber cool and pure fantabulous, we all enjoyed the silly "Betty Butter Bought some Butter..." kinda games with all other possible words starting from "B" ( ;) my batchmates might know what I mean :P)
And then start the subject teaching! Gawdddd... Anatomy, Physiology and Biochemistry! Anatomy with all her sister subjects becomes just ever increasing huge Ocean of knowledge. The amazing logical stimulation by Physio (my personal fav) and Biochem with harldy any time spared from the day stays unread. Much awaited Anat dissections are the best part of all the learning. And what I enjoy the most is that you are in the college the entire day, being bombarded with some sort of information or the other, but yet you manage to not feel tired by it and rather enjoy it. That's maybe because we will be having its direct application further clinically. Sigh, I'm boring myself writing all this.
I decided to not commit my CET mistake of just being a bookworm and hence started singing classes and have joined a gym - Talwalkars. I have already learnt 4 Ragas and performed 2 songs in a small show in the college on Ganeshotsav occasion. I am maintaining (trying rather to) the AMAZINGLY STRICT Diet given to me by the Nutritionist at the gym to help me shed the extra kilos and turn into something fitter if not a macho! Boy, we'll surely require some Biceps to move around the stretchers next year in the wards if they want us to be the wardboys! (that's what I've heard).
Its fun to try and fill up your tummy with loads of healthy veggies and fruits, ordering Sandwiches without potatoes and butter. Given the fact that we survive these days with lunch in college canteen with something just to prevent us from fainting in the practicals, I am way too much enjoying even the simple Radish sabji made by Aai for lunch. Geez I am gonna completely screw up all my diet effort of last month.
Er, right now, I don't even know what I should write. In fact I didn't have anything specifically on my mind to write about. I usually have a good opening and end for post already made in mind, but right now I'm just typing anything and everything, hence all the weird randomness of the topic. I just thought that this point in life, NOT life as such, but you know the medical career might be an important point where I would like to archive all my FIRST feelings of doing this and that.
I am trying to be much sincere in college. Listening with rapt attention and controlling myself from cracking jokes no matter however strong the instinct. I am actually trying to curb my last bencher's attitude by purposely grabbing a seat, staring at the prof. But given the fact that our (most of the) Professors are just too too too good, it is taken care that you don't doze off with a lullaby. I am trying to know all the 99 people of my batch with their first names and its actually becoming much of a task! I am trying to know my seniors better, as its important and all, firstly. (but secondly, given the dearth of pretty faces in our batch its lot more thirst quenching :P).
Hahaha, and its just yesterday that I went for dinner with Baba's friends and when asked about a specific Haematology doubt, the answer that I got was another question - How many gorgeous girls I have in my college and how many of them I actually have complimented? I told them that I did compliment one for her superbly visible Sternocleidomastoid, they wanted to specifically know about Pectoralis and Gluteus! :D.
The fact that I really read the books I brought home is what actually nauseated them, haha! Geez, convincing them that I don't study JUST to pass the exams was really a Herculean task.We already had 2 part exams which I surprisingly topped (both of them), although I firmly believe that I didn't deserve to even pass the 2nd, given my haphazard preparation.
As Aai sits here, reading what I am typing, its kinda awkward to type all this, (I don't think she knows those muscles) but heck everybody tried to convince my parents that medicine is actually meant to work hard and party harder... Well, the Party part actually sunk deep into me. ;) So I whiled away the entire day today not doing anything much specifically and I am damn sure that my 1st terminal itself is going to be something I won't actually be expecting.

The worst part is, that you look forward to this vacation with huge hopes of completely shoving off all that huge accumulated pile of To-Be-Done work and actually end up wasting it in not so productive or enjoyable activities.. The worst and the most frustrating part.. Sigh. I am just drifting off way too much into randomness. I should just go and give my cerebral cortex the much needed rest after all the PLANNING about studying! Well, it is actually a tiring job! Now all that remains is the Really studying part. (Haah, Aai read that 'awkward' part I just wrote above and gave me a tap on my shoulder and smiled. Now with my 18th birthday soon approaching I am excited about legally being an adult at last. Damn, I've become completely shameless already)

At last this turns out to be quite a boring post, but geez I completed it somehow 'coz I felt some kind of binding responsibility of posting at this moment.

P. S. I keep checking my Blog stats and always there are many new people checking it out with redirections from varied keywords and I wonder what they come to see. But whatever the reason, its nice to know that someone even from Canada also reads all the crap I write. Haha :D

Love - The Strongest Emotion

All of a sudden I'm having a blast of philosophy in my head while I should be preparing for my Physics test tomorrow. I thought, I should write it down somewhere, and what better place than my blog? Yesterday I read my previous post. I myself am so happy with it and get motivated by it that I've decided to read it whenever I feel down to remind how strong I can be and think.
To start with, because of my exams and all the pressure, Aai has come over to stay with me. She's gone for three days for some work but is about to return soon. Her presence, is so energizing and so stress free that I can work to my max levels. Her absence however is horrendous and loneliness is very demotivating and depressing. When she's here, she not only controls my uncontrolled waste of time (like this. Blogging on phone), but also does my not so productive chores. Like checking the question papers I solve and making charts to stick on walls. She is a person who, I feel, has stamina tending to infinity (talking in Maths lingo after its final exam is over. No more Maths again in my academic life :( ).
Yes, she can work till 4 in the morning writing all the accounts stuff and still manage to wake up at 7 to get Jui ready for her day. She can work entire day in kitchen and then sit down to take down notes for me from Science subjects she hasn't even studied. She can manage everything my disorganised Baba does and yet pull off a finger licking Pao Bhaji at night and wait for Baba's dinner till he has finished his late night surgeries. And she does all this so beautifully. I'm not saying she doesn't get tired. She gets frustrated when we don't do our simple jobs like just arranging our cupboard or CLOSING our books. But then we also do that because she does even this with anger on her face and love in her heart.
And now she's not here. Last two years, she has tried her best to manage everything in Kudal perfectly well before time so that she can come here to Mumbai to motivate me and keep a check on me. I've already wasted my half an hour typing this stuff on my phone's net and after writing so much for her I'm sure, if she was here, she would have instead been angrier for wasting my 1800 seconds! (ya that's how she accounts time of study)
After an idiotic sleep of 8 freaking hours yesterday, I still wake up feeling tired and bored to dig into these books and this is when I thought, what gives Aai all this amazing strength and power to be a wonder woman? And the answer is Love...
She love's us, and love's us like anything and that is her nuclear fuel!!! Love is the mightiest emotion, strongest feeling and best frequency to emit in this universe! (I'm talking with respect to my previous post where I wrote about the Law Of Attraction in Universe)
She loves Baba and wants him to be best at what he does. She loves Jui and wants her to score best in all her exams. After my boards, before CET, in the gap between them Aai is going to go to Kudal just to take Jui's last minute revision and for her first rank. And she's going to return (note that one journey from Kudal to Mumbai is of 500km and she travels alone at night in trains) just to check my papers which I'll solve then and give me mental strength. She loves me and wants me to get first rank in state! And for this, she does anything and everything possible. On the other hand, my studies have declined and while I study, I keep thinking why am I not able to study? I keep reading dumb ads in newspaper because I'm irritated to read again the textbook which I've already read thousands of times and I keep cursing myself for having a crush on a girl at the wrong time of my life. I know what's wrong and what's right. But just am not able to follow what's correct. I keep listening to title song of movie Lakshya, see Hrithik undergoing the military training, to get some motivation and read Shiv Khera's You Can Win to see if he can convince me that I can. I want to do this and that but don't find the strength to move my butt! :(
Today as I woke up late, my day began with cursing myself, as usual. But today I did something new...
I DECIDED TO CHANGE WHAT I'M DOING. I heard that song once more with a BELIEF that I know my Lakshya (aim). I read Shiv Khera with an intention to BELIEVE that I CAN WIN. And I called up Aai to suck some energy from her (I really feel like being parasitic on her). And I thought that its LOVE that gives her energy. I have the secret now. Its necessary to LOVE.. No I'm not talking about that girl I mentioned. Its necessary to LOVE anything and everything you do. For me its necessary to love my books, my prof.s, my exams and my career. For me its necessary to LOVE myself and my long cherished dream. For me its necessary to LOVE Dr. Sujay Nigudkar. The Gold Medalist from GS Medical College....????...